It’s Up To You To Use It
It seems unlikely that one phrase can change your life for the good. In fact, it sounds like baloney. Or clickbait at best. But it’s really true. It’s worked for me over and over again. And everyone I’ve shared it with and incorporated it into their lives attests to its effectiveness.
But, first, I cannot take credit for it. I learned it from a former colleague. One day she shared it with me when I was getting worked up about some nonsense at work. Something I had no control over.
You know how that goes when you let something or someone turns your day upside down.
Maybe a friend unknowingly hurt your feelings. A coworker ticked you off. Your boss puts unreasonable expectations on you. The traffic was horrible and made you late for a meeting. You missed an important deadline because someone gave you incorrect information.
You allow it to ruin your entire day.
You miss out on the wonders and opportunities before you — all because you’re so enmeshed in negative circumstances that you have no control over. It feels like you’re on a treadmill of negativity that you can’t get off. In fact, you find negativity all around you.
Your life doesn’t have to be this way.
Mindset matters. You can make a change. You can turn your day right-side up. The common denominator of these negative circumstances: they’re beyond your control. What is in your control? Your mindset.
I’m not giving life to it.
That’s it. That’s the simple statement.
It’s powerful because by not giving life to the negativity — to the things that are beyond your control — you’ve let it go. You don’t talk about it. You don’t think about it. You will not allow yourself to be adversely impacted by it.
Mindset Matters
Likely you’ve heard of professor Carol Dweck, Ph.D., who coined the terms “fixed” and growth mindsets. A Stanford University Report demonstrated how you can change your mindset:
Although your mindset about topics like appearance and success are largely influenced by outside factors, the brain is neuroplastic, meaning neural networks can continue to grow, change and reorganize throughout the lifespan. By challenging yourself with new experiences and perspectives, you can form new neural connections — or mindsets — at any point in life.
Lisa Zuba
As you can see, it even works with big issues.
I sold my company to some crooks.
When my partner and I sold it, we didn’t know they were crooks. They were a big, publicly-traded company. The sale agreement required me to remain on as an executive after the sale. From then on, I had little to no control over how they ran the company. I could wake up angry every morning and talk incessantly about their incompetence and lack of integrity. Or, I could say:
I’m not giving life to them.
It doesn’t mean you don’t do anything, but it takes your unhealthy attachment to the negative circumstances away.
In my case, I ended up in litigation because they chose to break our contract. But not giving life to them meant I could go on with my day, move forward in whatever plans I wanted for myself, and not let them ruin my life.
When you’re having a bad day or more, try it.
If you allow things outside your control to control you, it’s time to say, out loud, three times:
I’m not giving life to this.
Make a vow to yourself. Say it. Go on with your life — — let go of the negativity and nonsense. You’ll lose the attachment to things outside your control.
Your time, your health, and your future are worth it. Let me know how it goes.
